Monty’s Diary : April 2020
It’s been a very odd time since I last meowed my thoughts to you like this. It all started when Mum and Dad got their suitcases out again – we always know that means a change of carers for us, and we don’t mind too much because our substitute humans are really nice, they feed us and clean the litter tray and make a fuss of us, so everything would be completely fine if it weren’t for the fact that until Mum and Dad come back, we’re not allowed outside! This is obviously an infringement of our feline rights, and a denial of the liberty we’ve been granted since we were adopted from the home for de-homed cats. The excuse for this outrage is that it isn’t fair to our temporary carers if we either stay out at night and won’t come in (which so far has never happened), stray too far and get lost (which has also never happened), or bring prey inside the house . . . which, well, quite obviously, seeing as we are cats after all, has happened from time to time. So not only do we have our outdoor rights curtailed, we can’t hunt either.
Other than that, we’re used to Mum and Dad going away from time to time. On this occasion, it was a bit longer than usual but we didn’t make too much fuss. I admit to some nose and paw marks on the windows, and Maddie did claw at the doormats quite a lot (I keep telling her it won’t help her to get outside). But since our humans came back home, everything seems to have been weird. Luckily, our lives have gone back to normal. There have been some nice warm days so we’ve been outside in our territory, sunbathing, watching the birds (we’re no good at catching them), and chasing flies, and hoping the season for frogs will be starting soon.
But Mum and Dad are behaving strangely. Normally, Mum goes out hunting for food, coming back with lots of bags, but now a lorry comes to the house and the bags are left on the doorstep. Luckily, the supply of our cat food is still arriving, or we’d have something to say about it. Also, the strangest thing is that nobody apart from Mum and Dad comes into the house any more. Occasionally people ring the doorbell and chat to them from halfway down the driveway. Their grown-up family, and the little human kittens, haven’t been here for ages, which is a real shame as I liked the little ones playing with us, and even Maddie was getting used to them, (you know how shy she is). None of Mum and Dad’s human friends – the ones who look old and worn, the same as they do – have been here either. And Mum and Dad are here, together, the whole time, apart from going off every day for what they call their ‘walk’ – as if they never normally walk, which I know quite well they do as, I see them doing it all the time, on their back paws. So their behaviour, in general, has become quite peculiar, ever since they went away with the suitcases and came back again.
Still, something exciting happened today. First thing in the morning, Mum started singing ‘Happy Birthday, Monty and Maddie’ to us. It turns out we’re not six years old any more – we’re seven, which in cat years must be quite significant, as we are now supposed to be eating ‘senior’ cat food. It makes us feel quite important. Even better, we got presents: two new toys, one of which has catnip in it and the other one has treats hidden inside. Mum seemed just as excited about these as we were. She'd thought the toys were going to arrive late ‘because of the situation’ – whatever the situation is. But luckily the person who rings the doorbell and puts parcels on the doorstep brought them on the right day after all.
Mum and Dad keep saying that things could be worse and that they’ll ‘survive’ – which is obvious, really. Things would be worse if we didn’t have lots of comfy places to have the naps we need. And we’ll survive as long as our food turns up when we’re hungry. So to all my human friends, I’ll just say: may your food bowl stay well filled and your cushions well plumped. And if you can’t go out food-hunting, make sure the man with the lorry doesn’t forget the cat treats. But just for now, stay safely inside your own territory, OK? Meow!
